


Perdre et Retrouver la Maitrise

by Surreal



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-09-30
Updated: 2001-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 15:34:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11338329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surreal/pseuds/Surreal
Summary: After his time in prison, Byers needs to regain control of himself.





	Perdre et Retrouver la Maitrise

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Perdre et retrouver la maitrise (To lose control and to gain it) by Surreal

Perdre et retrouver la maitrise  
('To lose control and to gain it')  
Author: Surreal  
E-mail:   
Website: http://netjeru.ma-at.net/SurrealArts/  
Feedback: Yes, please!!!  
Status: complete  
Category: Missing scene, "Maximum Byers", romance  
Rating: NC-17 for m/m niceties  
Summary: After his time in prison, Byers needs to regain control of himself.  
Archive: Lone Slasher, Basement  
Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.  
Notes: Spoilers for Maximum Byers. Thought it was about time to get back to filling in the missing scenes of the series! Scene takes place the night the boys bring the boys home.

* * *

Byers just about jumped out of his skin when Jimmy brushed by him as they passed each other in the hall near the stairs. He stumbled and reached out his hand to steady himself against the wall.

"Oh! Sorry, Byers," the larger man said automatically, his hand resting on Byers' arm in apology. But he was surprised when his skittish friend shook him off quickly, almost fearfully.

"It's...it's fine, Jimmy. I'm okay, just a little..." he shrugged and gave a half-smile of embarrassment.

Bond had noticed Byers becoming more jumpy and nervous since their first few hours in the prison, and even more as the days went on. As a former athlete, the younger man was used to communal showers and close quarters with other large, stinking, and occasionally violent men. He knew little of Byers' background, but assumed that his friend had no such experience outside of high school gym classes.

He couldn't image what the past several days had been like for his gentle, and extremely private, mentor.

"You sure?" Bond looked at his friend doubtfully, not missing the faint tremors shuddering through the older man.

"Yes, Jimmy, I'm *sure* I'm okay," Byers assured the fourth Gunmen, his patience reaching its limits at the repeated inquiries. "Could you please just..." he started to hiss through his teeth, pushing past Jimmy on his way up the stairs. But he noticed the look of concern mixed with the usual hero worship on the younger man's face and sighed, scrubbing a hand over his eyes. "Really. I'm fine. I'm tired, sore, and ready to fall into my own bed. You should too," he added, noting the weariness of his friend.

Jimmy stared at him a moment, then nodded reluctantly. "Yeah... sure," he smiled. "Good night, John."

"Night, Jimmy," Byers smiled back and continued up the stairs.

He found Langly in the bathroom brushing his teeth, wearing a pair of old, black sweatpants and nothing else. "Hey," Byers rubbed the other man's arm briskly and brushed a quick kiss on one pale shoulder as he passed.

"Hhrr," Langly mumbled around the toothbrush before leaning down to spit. "You want I should leave so you can take care of business?" he lowered his voice in a bad Marlon Brando voice, gesturing toward the open door.

"No, that's - " Byers answered automatically, but the remaining bruises on his body made themselves known as he reached for his waistband and he cleared his throat self-consciously. "Uh, yeah... maybe you should."

Langly glanced at him sideways as the meaning behind the words set in. He took a step closer and lowered his voice. "John, it's okay. I know you got hurt, there's not need to hide from me. I won't..." he looked away, blushing. "If you want, I'll go sleep in my room."

"What? NO!" Byers' head shot up and he reached to grip Langly's arm. "That's not what I meant. I want you there...I *need* you with me, tonight," he said solidly.

The other man blinked at him, uncertain. Byers swallowed hard and pulled his lover to him, holding him hard in a near-desperate hug. "God, I missed you," he choked back the sudden tears and pressed his face into Langly's neck.

The blonde slipped his arms around Byers' waist and held him, feeling the slight tremors in his partner. "Yeah, me too," he whispered back. "I was so worried," he tightened his hold on his lover. "When Jimmy told us what you did...fuck, I was ready to pull you guys out right there but Mel was sure you knew what you were doing."

Byers sighed and pulled back just enough so he could press his forehead against the other man's. "I know...I thought it was a good idea, but now...knowing it was for nothing..."

"Wasn't for nothing," Langly assured him. "At least we won't be left wondering, you know?"

"Yeah," the older man nodded reluctantly. He swallowed hard and sniffed, reaching down to take Langly's hand in his and squeeze. "Well...um, I'm going to finish up in here. Wait for me in bed?" he asked hopefully.

Langly smiled and nodded. "Sure."

Stripping naked and sliding into bed, Langly smiled in anticipation. He'd seen Byers' injuries and knew they wouldn't be doing anything but sleeping tonight, but he'd missed the other man's presence - the simple knowledge that if he woke up in the middle of the night and reached, he'd find another warm body.

He looked up when Byers came into the room. Byers closed the door behind him and turned back with a knowing smile.

Langly patted the mattress next to him with a returning smile. "Come here," he prodded softly.

Byers hesitated a moment, then drew a deep breath. With a few quick motions he stripped off his clothes, revealing a mass of purple and black bruises along his torso, arms, back and left hip; an obvious boot print there where he'd been kicked while he was down. The blonde winced sympathetically and held out a hand to Byers.

Stretching out slowly beside the younger man, Byers placed a hand on Langly's chest and ran it down the thin, hard torso a few times, reveling in the warm contact.

He slid up the other man's body to kiss him, slowly and lazily. Releasing him with a soft sigh, he rested his forehead against the blondes'. "Mmm..." he smiled. "You wouldn't believe how much I missed this."

"I think I can," Langly amended as he reached up to twist a few strands of soft, dark hair between his fingers. He carded his fingers through the rest of the hair, pulling Byers down for another long kiss.

Byers closed his eyes, relearning the feel of his lover's body, inside and out. Taking a sharp, gasping breath, he pushed Langly back against the pillows. One slightly trembling hand stroked slowly down the younger man's cheek, he leaned down for a harder, more determined kiss.

"You sure you're up to this, John?" Langly asked softly, the hand that wasn't trapped under Byers stroking steadily along the older man's side, careful of the bruises.

One hard press of his groin and eager erection against Langly's hip answered the question. "Need you..." he whimpered, rolling them so that he was sprawled over the other man completely.

Langly shifted, spreading his legs so that Byers could settle comfortably between them. His feet wrapped just slightly around the other set of legs, so he could stroke the strong, hairy calves.

Purring contentedly deep in his throat, Byers nuzzled into the neck of the man beneath him and rocking against the warm body. He settles he weight onto his elbows and raised his head, watching his lover's face as he started to slowly grind their erections together.

"Uhh...o-ohhh," Langly's breath caught for a moment, then he sighed at the friction against his dick.

Byers echoed above him, his air coming in harsh pants. Nearly a week he'd been without this, the touch of his passionate lover, the sharing he'd grown to crave like a lifeline. It all seemed too much, too real and he felt the desperation grown in him with shocking speed.

He ran his hands down the long, smooth length of Langly's arms, captured his hands and entwined their fingers. He pulled their joined hands up above the other man's head, holding and pressing him into the mattress, his weight draped over him like a blanket.

Rolling his hips slowly, he felt a rush of possessiveness at the hungry groans he forced out of his lover. He was in control, it was *him* doing this to another person, a being he was bound to through years of blood, tears, sweat and sex.

All of the fear build up over his voluntary incarceration, the harsh, disturbing whispers of the other men, telling him what they wanted to do to him given the chance came crashing through the front of his mind. He suddenly had to prove himself, protect himself. Had to make the other man *know* who was in charge here, beyond any doubt.

It was more than he could take, his brain overloaded by the power he held, both emotionally and physically as his partner writhed and pushed against him, completely open and trusting.

With a hard, low groan he sat back, reached for the lube from the nightstand and dropped it on the bed next to his hand. "Turn over," he ordered abruptly, grabbing one of Langly's legs to move him.

"Wha - " Langly had no choice but to move, flipping over onto his front, startled. "John?"

Leaning in close to his ear even as he spread Langly's thighs with his hands and started to prepare him, Byers whispered in a voice rough with need and something else, something Langly had never heard before. "Need this...have to fuck you..."

Despite himself, Langly shivered at the words coming from his normally shy, considerate lover. He felt his stomach tingle, a mixture of lust and something approaching nervousness. He wasn't entirely sure what the other man had planned, if he was honest with himself.

He felt one, then two fingers in quick succession push into him without warning, making him arch his back and cry out sharply. His fingers dug into the sheets, making sweat-dampened fistfuls of bedclothes. "God - John, take it easy..."

Lost in the moment, the heady rush of desire, Byers muttered a swift "...sorry," and leaned down to kiss the curve of Langly's lower back.

He slid his fingers out of the other man's body then moved to cover him again, nipping and kissing at the nape of his neck and his shoulders. "Ready?" he muttered, but didn't wait for an answer.

Planting his hands on either side of Langly's ribcage, he pushed down and buried himself to the root inside the man under him in a few rough thrusts.

Langly tensed at the sudden intrusion, the pain of the unexpected entry making him arch back and choke on a harsh shout. He felt a few hard, sharp stabs into him and he howled painfully, trying to pull away. "John!! God, please stop, you're hurting me...J-john!"

Byers gasped, his eyes at once focusing on the painful wince shuttering his lover's face, the way Langly was biting his lip too hard to keep from screaming, and the white knuckles of the other man's hands grasping the sheet. "God...oh, God, Ree....I - I didn't...shit!" he hissed, carefully pulling out before he rushed to get off the other man. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." he said breathlessly, over and over, as he curled up with his knees against his chest, arms wrapped around his legs.

The blonde man took a moment to catch his breath before gingerly moving to sit up next to the distressed man. "John...John, it's okay, I'm okay..." he assured Byers, stroking his still-shaking hand over Byers' back. "I know, I know what's going on, it's okay."

"Not okay," Byers mumbled into his folded arms where his face was buried. "Can't believe...oh, God, I hurt you," his voice shook hard, his head coming up and he finally looked at Langly, his eyes scanning the other man's body as if expecting to find damage.

"You didn't hurt me, John," Langly argued, then amended as he saw the look of disbelief on his partner's face. "Okay, it *did* hurt, but *I'm* not hurt, all right? You were just...John, I know what's goin' on with you, what you're goin' through. I get it, all right?"

Byers glanced at him, frowning and somewhat angry. "How do you know what I'm thinking right now? Fuck, *I* don't even know."

He slipped his arms around Byers' body and pulled him close. "John...I - ," he started, uncertain how to start, or if it was even the right thing to do. He felt his chest tighten at the unwelcome memories flooding his head. "Let's just say, I've been there," he whispered cryptically, his arms hugging the other man tighter instinctively.

Byers frowned, raising his head to look at his friend. "Ree?" He could feel the fine tremors in Langly's body against him and was immediately drawn away from his own thoughts. "What is it?"

Langly sighed, mostly to give himself time to gather his nerve. "Promise me that if I tell you, you won't freak out, okay? I'm trying to help *you* here, help you understand that *I* can understand. Right?"

Nodding slowly, Byers watched him closely. "I'll try."

~~M~B~~

"Good enough," Langly smiled weakly, and took a deep breath. "About a year before I met you guys, I spent a little over a month in a county jail. I was nineteen, got caught with beer a few too many times."

"You did time? Before Baltimore, I mean? How come you never told us, me?" Byers gaped at him, wide-eyed.

"Wasn't something I'm proud of, I'd rather just forget it," Langly replied, making it obvious what this effort to discuss it required of him. "Just...let me say this, okay? I'm telling you now, because I think it will help."

Byers swallowed hard, but nodded. "Go on."

"Okay. Um...well, the place was small, mostly a bunch of kids like me. I got hassled a lot, about my hair mostly. Frohike wasn't joking about trading me for cigarettes, you know...shit like that goes on. Lot of guys tried to...to do stuff. Guys bigger than me, who'd been in there longer and forgot what common decency was. I - I got tossed around a lot, where the guards weren't watching."

Byers shivered reflexively, remembering how he'd been beaten far worse than he'd expected simply because the guards weren't paying attention. He felt Langly's hand rub his arm softly and the younger man continued.

"About a week before I got released, these two guys...big, fuckin' bastards that'd been after me for weeks...they got me alone in the machine shop one afternoon. Th - they held me up against the wall, their hands all over me, pulling my pants down. I tried to fight them, but the one guy, he grabbed my hair and slammed my head against the concrete. I didn't pass out, but I was too stunned to struggle anymore."

He stopped, realizing he was shaking hard now and his breathing was short and ragged. He drew a couple of calming breaths before going on. "That was as far as they got...a couple of other guys came in right then and saw what was happening. The guys holding me let me go and I dropped to the floor. After that...I'm not really sure, I think I blacked out. I woke up in the infirmary, they said I was in shock, had a mild concussion but was fine otherwise."

"God...Ringo, I'm sorry, I didn't know..." Byers whispered, his voice cracking. He raised a hand to swipe at the moisture on his cheek.

"Hey, don't, hon," Langly kissed the top of Byers' head, holding him close. "I didn't tell you this so you'd feel worse! I just...I want you to know that I know what's going on in your head. Now...can I ask you some things?"

Byers winced. "Uh...yeah."

"Did anyone try to, you know, touch you while you were in there?"

"Ummmm..." Byers' mind flashed to his first night, hearing them mock him, and Jimmy's... He had to smile. "They made comments at first, but Jimmy informed them all that I was 'his bitch'," he choked on a laugh. "No one really tried anything, but I was...I knew it happened. I was scared," his voiced dropped as he spoke, the realization hitting him hard.

"Uh huh. You were scared. The game is control in there, babe. It isn't about sex, or getting off...it's about who has power, who is in control."

"So...what - what I was doing, before...that was me trying to get control, of you?" Byers tried to make sense of his emotions, somehow conflicting and not completely coming together.

"I think that's part of it. I think...more of it was a defense mechanism. You were protecting yourself, taking the upper hand before the other person could hurt you," Langly reasoned with him.

"But you'd never hurt me! It was you, I knew it was you but I still..." Byers shook his head, unnerved by his own body's response. "Damn it, I don't even know what I'm saying."

"I think you do, hon," Langly argued quietly, resting his cheek on the soft head of hair against his chest.

"You never told me...how can you..." Byers wiggled around to face him. "All this time, how can you be so...so calm and - and *good* with me, when we make love? You let me...after what almost happened to you?" He frowned.

Langly leaned in and kissed him lightly, cupping his chin with one hand and holding his gaze. "Because I *trust* you."

Byers blinked, waiting for him to continue. When he was met with only the heavy silence, he licked his lips and shook his head slightly. "That's it? Just...you trust me? But - look what I - "

The younger man slid his thumb up against Byers' lips to stop him. "That's all it takes. Don't you get it? I *know* you, we've been friends for a dozen years, lovers for about three of that...I trust you with my body, with my *life* every day, every time you touch me. I know you won't hurt me," he gave a little smile, seeing the protest in Byers' eyes. "I don't mean physically, though I know you'd never do that intentionally. I'm talking emotionally...that's where those other guys hurt me, okay? Not you, though. Never you."

The other man absorbed the soft, pleading words and slowly smiled. "So...you still trust me, even after...earlier?"

"Yes," Langly replied firmly, leaving no room for doubt. He held his lover close to him again, kissing his hair. "I love you."

The older man stiffened, but relaxed into the embrace and rested his head against Langly's chest. "I'm so sorry," he whimpered so softly it was almost lost against the younger man's skin.

"It's okay, I'm fine..." Langly reassured him again, stroking his hands along Byers' tense arms and back. After a while he sighed. "You ready to try this again? A little slower?"

Byers lifted his head to stare at his lover incredulously. "You can't...Ree, you can't be serious! I just about r-raped you a few minutes ago and you want to keep *going*?" He started to pull away from Langly's arms but the other man held fast.

"John, listen to me," he said solidly, cupping Byers' chin with one hand and making him meet his eyes. "You didn't hurt me and there is no reason for us not to try and get past this, as soon as possible. I don't want you to be afraid of making love to me because of something you couldn't control, okay?"

Silent for several moments, Byers swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah...I know," he stated softly. "Don't even know if I *can*," he added wryly with a blush, glancing down at his dick, long since having lost his erection.

"Well...we can fix that easy enough," Langly grinned, relieved to have the lover he knew back with him. He grabbed two of the pillows and set them up against the headboard, then guided Byers to lean against them. "Here...just lay back and let me do all the work, okay?"

"Probably a good idea," Byers smiled wryly and laid back comfortably. "Just...don't let me do anything like that again, okay? Ever," his voice took a serious turn.

Langly met his gaze steadily as he moved to straddle Byers' lap. "I promise. Same here, okay?"

"Yeah," Byers replied with a soft smile. He rested his hands on Langly's hips gently and stroked the fair skin lightly with his thumbs.

The blond smiled warmly, making sure the other man was relaxed before he reached between them to curl his fingers around Byers' cock and started to stroke.

"Ah-ahh," Byers groaned softly, his eyes fluttering shut while the warm spread of renewed arousal course through him. Focusing on his gentle partner's heavy weight against him, the feel of the large hand holding him so knowingly, the hot breath on his neck where Langly kissed him and rested his head on Byers' shoulder.

"That'll do it," Byers gave a breathless laugh. He shifted slightly, sliding his body down so Langly could slide closer.

Langly felt Byers grow hard in his palm and let go to rub his own erection against the other man's. He pressed their bodies together, wrapping his long arms over Byers' shoulders, behind his head and captured his mouth as they rocked into one another.

"God..." Byers whispered hoarsely, his hand sliding between them to cup Langly's dick, running his fingers down and under to squeeze him slightly.

"That's it, don't be afraid to touch," Langly encouraged him softly, rocking into the light grip at his crotch.

The caress became more confident, setting a slow pattern. Byers cupped the dark, pink sac, then traced his fingers up the long, thick vein along the underside of the younger man's narrow cock.

Langly sighed, a soft moan hanging over it. He kissed Byers' forehead, his fingers toying with the short, bristly hairs at the nape of the other man's neck. "This is nice," he murmured, the small puffs of breath disturbing the soft tufts of hair and tickling his cheek.

"Yeah," Byers agreed, leaning forward to lick the nipple closest to his lips. Langly gasped and arched into the warm, wet contact as Byers continued to lave and suck on the hard nub.

His hand skidded down, palm flat against Byers' shoulder blade so he could balance while reaching around with his other for the lube. He took the hand Byers had resting on his hip and pressed the tube into his fingers. "Here..."

Byers glanced up at him, uncertain. "You sure...you want me to? Wouldn't you rather..." he said, blushing and squeezing his hand vaguely.

"I'd rather you do it," he smiled, flipping the top on the tube and spreading it over the other man's fingers himself. He quickly put some in his own hand and began slicking Byers' cock with it.

Hesitating slightly, he reached around slowly and felt for the crease. He slipped his fingers down and fingered the small opening, pressing one fingertip inside cautiously. Langly groaned and pushed back, taking his finger in deeper. He felt the muscle contract and give and he moved further in.

He went with his instinct, knowing exactly where to touch and how much, not thinking about it too hard. They fell into a familiar rhythm, Langly stroking them both together while he concentrated on stretching the younger man.

"You ready, John?" Langly panted into his ear, bucking hard against him. "'Cause I most definitely am..."

"You sure?" Byers replied, uncertain of himself more than his lover.

"Very sure," the younger man smiled and shifted up onto his knees, scooted further up and guided Byers into him easily. He kept his head over Byers' so the older man couldn't see his slight wince when he pushed down.

Byers held Langly's hips and let the younger man lead them.

Langly's breath caught in his throat but he forced himself to relax and soon took all of the other man's hardness in. He stayed there for a moment, just resting his head on Byers' shoulder and giving his body time to catch up with his need.

"Okay?" Byers whispered, nudging Langly's neck with the tip of his nose.

"Oh, yeah," Langly licked his lips and moved. A slow, careful glide until only the head was inside him, and then pushing back down in smooth, slippery thrusts. "Don't hold back on me, John...come on."

"Aahh...GOD," Byers threw his head back and bit his lip, giving in with small, tight jerks of his hips.

Langly surged forward and captured Byers' mouth in his own, licking the red, bitten lips and seeking entrance as he kept their rhythm steady. He moaned as Byers opened up to him. He sucked on the older man's tongue, reveling in the wet glide as they moved together, their entire bodies connected and focused on the pleasure of their joining.

"Let go, John," Langly urged him, steadily increasing their beat. "Don't be scared, it's just me."

Byers gave a high, desperate sob and thrust harder, faster. "Oh god..ohgodRee...OH - " he felt the pulsing in his dick, throbbing for release. He slid one of the tightly grasping hands from Langly's hip to his cock, stroking it hard and quick to bring the younger man off with him. "I can't - I'm gonna..."

Langly stopped him with a hard, bruising kiss and felt his climax right there on the knife edge of perfection. He held it, them, for as long as he could before giving into it.

The older man felt Langly tense, tighten around him and then heard him cry out sharply as he came. Warm, sticky bursts of semen coated his hand and both their stomachs.

The spasms surrounding his dick set him off and he bucked wildly for a moment, caught in the heady rush of nearly painful pleasure.

Panting hard, he crushed the hot, sweaty, sticky and now-limp, body to his own and let the tears come. He sobbed out his emotional release even as his physical one faded.

Langly held onto him silently and gave Byers the time he needed to pull himself together again.

By the time the older man was able to wipe the moisture from his face, he could tell Langly was half-asleep, still sprawled on him. He gave a soft laugh and shook Langly's shoulder.

Langly raised his head, his face slightly flushed still, his hair sticking to his forehead in places and a look of utter contentment and childlike innocence gracing his sharp features. Byers smiled, reached up to brush back the damp hair and kissed Langly's swollen lips lightly. "Getting sticky here, gotta move."

Nodding tiredly, the younger man gently pulled himself off Byers and crawled down under the covers next to him, pulling at his lover to join him.

Langly reached up for a lazy, sloppy kiss and closed his eyes, blindly reaching out to pull the other man to him. "Love you," he mumbled, nearly asleep.

Byers pulled the blanket up over them both and returned the comforting embrace gladly. He brushed his lips against Langly's forehead and whispered back, "Yeah."

*************

End.

Feedback to: 

  
Archived: September 29, 2001 


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